Himerus and Eros.

Mirror Mirror on the Wall.

I've always had a love/hate relationship with mirrors.
I would be dead without one but they make my life difficult.

I admit that I am one of the most veinest girls you will ever meet.

I know that. My friends know that. My mum knows that.

I'm one of those girls who needs make-up. Always. Regardless of where I am or what I happen to be doing. It doesn't matter if I'm with my family or a friend I consider one of my "favourites", if I don't have it, I feel naked. I feel exposed and vulnerable, you could probably say that it is somewhat of a mask. Even when I'm heading down to the gym I always make sure my foundation is covering my face and my eyeliner isn't smudged.

I'm one of those girls who need to do her hair.
I hate my hair. It's a huge mess of nothing.
But regardless of this, I need to straighten it, I need to blow dry it, just so I know that I attempted to make it look presentable.

Along with these things I NEED.
I need a mirror.
No matter how much I hate them.
I'm the sort of person who looks at their reflection wherever they can sneak a peek.
Shop windows, classroom windows, the bus door, the darkened screen on my mobile, the microwave door.

It's not because I love looking at myself.
It's not because I love what I see.
It's because I need reassurance.
I need to know what I look like.

I need to check my outfit is sitting properly.
That my hips don't look too big in my dress, that my shorts don't make my legs look stumpy.
To be sure that I shouldn't have worn a long shirt to cover the top of my arms.

No matter how much I hate what I see in the mirror.
That I feel depressed after over-anylsising every part of my body.
That I sometimes run to bed just so I can hide from the world so no one see's me.
Or that I sometimes AVOID looking in the mirror when I wake-up in the morning to be greeted by puffy eyes, a bloated stomache and a make-upless face.
I still need it.

If I didn't have a mirror. I don't know what I would do.
I would feel lost.
I would feel bare.
I would feel even more insecure.
Maybe I'm contridicting myself, because when I DO have a mirror. I feel all these things as well.

Reading over my post, I feel somewhat stupid.
Doesn't it sound pathetic? doesn't it sound so incredibly shallow and sad that someone could be so relient on a piece of glass? A little obsessive much?

But when I think about it. It's not that abnormal.
I know some of my friends feel the same.
Maybe not to the extent that I feel of the need for a mirror, but the fact that they need reassurance, they need to do a double take when they look in the mirror. To make sure they look okay. Therefore doesn't it show that nearly everyone is preoccupied by their looks? Despite the fact that some of my friends are the most gorgeous people you will ever see. That I envy them so completely much, I can't even describe.

I don't really know what the point of this post was.
Just to share something that's been on my mind for a while.
It probably doesn't make sense.
But I just needed to say it.

I'm sure most girls could relate to me on the love/hate relationship I have with the mirror.
I'm presuming anyone.
Sometimes presumtions are wrong so I've learnt.

OCD.

I swear on the holy grail that I have OCD when it comes to changing the background of my blog.
I have mixed and matched it, what, 3 times the past month? If that's not slightly sad I don't know what is.

Despite changing it for the umpteenth time today I am still not happy with it.
Sometimes this blog is the bane of my existance.

The past few days I have actually been thinkg about my blog and asking myself "what do I want my blog to portray?" and this has got me somewhat stumped. My blog isn't a full blown fashion-blog, regardless of how much I would like it, or try for it to be. However, it's not one of those intense deep and meaningful "what is the meaning of life?" "why are we here?" "how did this happen?" philospical ones which I sometimes come across.

Although I must admit I like to rumble and rant about random going-on's and give my two-cents worths on a particular subject yet you can hardly call that deep and meaningful.

I came to the conclusion that despite the fact my blog looks a smidgeon messy and all over the place, it doesn't really matter. I'm not doing this blog for anyone else, I'm not trying to impress, or sway people's opinion. I'm just posting random little things whether it's my latest favourite photo or sharing my thoughts.

Thus, as I try and keep my blog looking somewhat organised, I'm not going to be too strict. Because this blog was meant to be fun (:

That is all haha

x

Everything good in life is either illegal, fattening or just plain bad.

God I want a cupcake so badly right now.

Black Dresses

"In muddy grass we stand side by side
With our knuckles interlocked
Black dresses flood the cemetery
In this cliche tragedy

Just do as you're instructed and...
Take this razor and cut your palms
I'll do the same until a river of crimson begins to flow
Now drip your ruby red over the casket
A funeral for my once loved youth

My secret is fatally gorgeous
I'd die for you
But in this Bonnie and Clyde kind of romance
Tell me what would you do?
My secret is fatally gorgeous
I'd die for you
But when your precious life is at stake
Tell me would you die for me too?"

Sources: R Williams and Kinneidigh Garrett's flickr.

You shine so bright, it's insane.

God she is gorgeous.
Can I please look like her now?

Grumble Grumble Grumble

"Hi my name is Hayley and I do not look like Emily Blunt"

-has pretty much become my tagline in recent times.

It takes alot to annoy me. Actually. Wait. It is so easy to annoy me.

And having every second person telling me I look like Emily Blunt-even from people I don't know, really really gets on my nerves.

I mean, I've never really looked twice at Emily.

Sure she's a great actor, but is she gorgeous? I can't answer that.

I don't really have an opinion.

Maybe if someone told me I looked like Delta Goodrem or Miranda Kerr I would be jumping off the walls with confidence and happiness, but this doesn't happen when you say I look like Emily Blunt.