two thousand and ten.

i'm excited for 2010.
like every year i set goals yet i fail before 12:00 even hits.
2010 will be different.
2010 is the year i will be who i want to be, regardless of what anyone else thinks.

2009 was one of the best and worst years of my life.
maybe not the best.
but definately the worst.
i experienced so many things that i thought i was used to by now, obviously not.
i went through some new things, which ended sadly and i'm still not over.
i got stuck in places i never wanted to be in. yet i still have to put up with it now. it's stuck with me for life.

here are some of my resolutions:

one.
lose weight.
i did lose quite a bit of weight this year. it turned out fairly normal then transformed into something ugly and unnoticed. well a few people noticed. a few people cared. but i hide things so well no one ever caught on. i've accepted my weight is always going to bother me. i'm just going to have to suck it up and deal with it.

two.
stand up for myself.
i never stand up for myself because i am too scared to make people mad or i think they will hate me.
well fuck that.
if they don't like me for speaking my mind they can go....yes i'll stop before i start using 4 year old sounding threats.


three.
study and get work experience.
considering i'm going into year 12 and the industry i want to work in is highly competitive and difficult to succeed in. but not impossible. therefore i need all the help i can get.

four.
not push people away.
it's a habit.

five.
be more independant.

that's all for now.
i'll add more later (:
gosh i will be busy this year.